How do I get my body in shape?

People might look at me funny for being the weird fuck who’s doing push-ups at the bus interchange. But they won’t be looking at me so funny when I’m looking like a Captain America action figure and they’re looking like melted ice-cream.

Make Use of Idle Time

I’m always at my fittest during the winter months. You know why? Beause when it’s cold, nobody wants to hang out much, especially on weekday afternoons. Everyone’s going from one heated place to another. So I just go straight to the gym.

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So you need to warm up. I recommend cardio for at least ten minutes, and the kind of cardio that gets you working up a real sweat. Trust me, once you’ve finished on the assault bike with sweat dripping down your brow, the rest of your workout is gonna seem a lot more appealing. Adrenaline and whatnot.

Get the Ball Rolling

I play Call of Duty quite a bit when I have the time for it. And you know what I’ve noticed? Between games, there’s this 1-minute period where everyone’s just in the games lobby, doing nothing but changing their weapons and waiting for the next round. It’s the most inefficient time of the game. Know what I do?

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Every Little Thing Counts

I’d argue that the warmup is the most important part of a workout. The hardest part of getting fit is actually having the time, energy and motivation to get yourself exercising.

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But on the flip side, this also applies to your bad habits. That little midnight snack is probably doing more harm to your fitness goals than you realise. Same with the fatty Ranch dressing you put on your salads. It’s very likely that you’re not counting a few hundred calories every day.

Summer’s different. I always tell myself it’ll be different, that I won’t start skipping the gym just because everyone’s more social. But then I get invited somewhere, and I’m having too much fun to leave for the gym.

I’ve maintained a good physique even when I was eating unhealthy on vacations, simply because I was walking ten miles a day while sightseeing.

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This can be applied in both a negative and a positive way. Even something as small as doing 10 push-ups for every hour of TV you watch can help slowly improve your body. Things like taking the stairs, or swapping soda for diet soda, or diet soda for water; they also help too.

One day of gym skippage turns into another, a few days turn into a few weeks, and before you know it I have zero abs instead of six.

I take advantage of that idle time and use it for fitness. When a match ends, I do three sit-ups for each time I died that game. And I die a lot.

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Another example of idle time is when I’m waiting for my bus. Sometimes I’m at the bus interchange for up to half an hour, and I usually just stand there doing nothing. Not any more.

But the warmup is when you actually start wanting to work out. There’s been so many times when I’ve gone to the gym dead tired, half-assed the warmup and left fifteen minutes later cause my body refused to get into workout mode.